You shouldn’t say too much. You should be reserved. You should, you should, you should. Blah! But…we’re supposed to put ourselves out there. Hmm. Contradict much?
Single in today’s world. Oh what a difference from many years ago. Everything is social media now. I mean EVERYthing. It’s tough for someone with old-fashioned values. Pick up the phone and call. Ask on a real date. If a man is truly interested, he will do those things. Not so much now. Interested now can be liked posts, private messages or maybe a text. Woohoo.
So much is done from behind a screen. Including the many filters that make an average person look like a supermodel or Bradley Cooper. No one over the age of 25, has a flawless, smooth and perfect like a baby doll’s face, face. There are birth marks, scars, dark circles under the eyes, freckles, blemishes and sun spots. We all have experienced this. This is why I’m ever so grateful for concealer, to camouflage the dark circles under my eyes. True fact, if you suffer from any allergies, you will most likely have them. Oh, and if you’re a tired or stressed out parent or workaholic, you’ll have them too. Not many are immune to them. It’s life lived.
Can we just accept people for how they really look? Our parents did it. Yes they did, there weren’t photo filter apps back then. So what happened? Social media happened. While it’s an incredible feature to stay connected, it has its downfalls.
We get stuck living in our social media world. A world where we are liked for the person we present ourselves to be, our perfect lives and are absolutely perfect face and bodies that are plastered everywhere. Facebook, is not Bodybook yet there are many barely clothed bodies all around there, filtered of course. It’s no wonder a man expects that when he sees it in his news feed daily. It’s become a fantasy without them even realizing it. They are fantasizing about a woman that doesn’t even exist. The real woman behind the social media images, has flaws both physical and emotional. But are they really flaws? I think not. It’s character. It’s who they truly are. It’s what makes them who they are, take it or leave it.
Imagine if we went back to old school flirting and dating? I remember receiving a message on Facebook from a stranger trying to flirt and it said, “Nice chest.” That’s it. Really? Do you really think that’s going to make me run to you? Is this what society has become?
So how did you know he was the one? Well, he said “nice chest” and I just knew! Yeah, good luck saying that at the wedding or to your pastor or wait, there probably won’t be a wedding because the ship will never set sail if that’s his introduction. That’s the foundation of it. No thanks. I require more substance. Much more.
Respect – It seems to be lost, drowning and almost extinct. It takes TWO. Both sides, men and women. Ladies, if you want to be treated with respect, then you must respect yourselves and that starts with what you allow. You have boundaries. Use them. You don’t have to accept any disrespect from anyone, including a man. If you are posting half-naked images on social media yet want Mr. Wonderful. Guess what? You’re going to attract the men who want the half naked woman, well naked woman really. You want a man who will want to know your brain, your heart, your soul? Set the tone and be patient.
Men – if women you hardly know or don’t know are flocking to you based off some images and a few posted words, there isn’t much there to sustain. It’s swooning. Believe me, their doing it on other pages as well. It’s like a kid in a candy store. It’s the attention. Let’s face it, men you want the attention. We get it, really we do. However, many of you want the real attention. The kind that has real meaning. The kind that sets you apart from the rest. The kind that makes you feel appreciated for…you.
Men, you set the tone as well. Make it about your values, not your muscles.
You want a solid relationship, maybe a wife, children and an overall future to build with someone? Why on earth would you go for the one who’s taking it off for the world to see? Of the 2010 Census population, there were 151.8 milion men in the world. If her images are online, there are roughly that many men who can view it, give or take. Let’s think about this for a second. Do you think she would turn away or ignore the attention from other men enjoying her images? It could happen. Is it likely? Nope. Why else do it? If she loves being half-naked, great…there are plenty of places to do that other than online, right?
Ladies – I get it. You want to find the man of your dreams. Something of value. Showing a thigh, or side breast isn’t going to be enough to secure the deal for decades. There are millions of women who will do the same, and men will look. Give them more, yet less. If they don’t bite, it’s not the right fish. The right one will be intrigued not in lust. If lust was enough, we’d have more marriages and less divorces. You have to find something sustainable. Intellect is how I connect with someone. I have been out on dates with some fascinating, intellectual people who I connected with and the conversations lasted for hours, even friendships built. Then, there are the others who couldn’t stop focusing on themselves and how great they are or look. It was cheap and dull. Yawn.
110.6 million unmarried people in America were age 18 and older in 2016. This group made up 45.2 percent of all U.S. residents age 18 and older.
To attract what we want, we must put it out there and be patient. I’ve done the stay reserved and quiet way, and the put it out their way. There are pros and cons to both, however, I will say you could do both. Be somewhat reserved, don’t offer up everything about yourself, leave some mystery, something to talk about later. Yet, put yourself out there and let it be known this is what you want, however be specific with yourself that you won’t settle for just anyone. There will be plenty of suitors (well they think they are), knocking on your social media door, however, you don’t have to give attention to all of them or go out with any of them. Be selective.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Be patient. Become the person you want. What you reflect, will find its way to you. You want a respectful, wholesome, good person? Be that person and they will come.